IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

#years #professionals #doctors #engineers #countries #jobs
n
last
 few years, from under-developed countries proficient skilled professionals in medicines, engineer and IT professionals are moving to developed countries for
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 jobs and standard of living.
Firstly
, in
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the possible problem that caused the migration of people to developed countries .
secondly
, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the solutions on
this
 topic. On the one hand, In less developed countries the cost of living is very reasonable and due to which all educated individual
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 professional courses. Due to the increase in individuals in the professional journey that leads to an
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 as there are
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough jobs to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 all the professionals and which leads to unemployment. The salary in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 poorer country is very less when compared to developed countries. An individual who is expert in
this
 field will be paid very less, unsatisfied and has a sense of fear for his future.
For example
Add a comma
,
show examples
Many professional sectors across the world in
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries are laying of its employees or demoting them as they are unable to pay them.
On the other hand
,
G
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment should cooperate in order to solve the problem by taking
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 steps by increasing the professional sectors so that most of the personnel are employed.
Authortites
Correct your spelling
Authorities
 in different sectors should have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
guildiness
Correct your spelling
guiltiness
guildies
 to provide an expected salary to
an individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
show examples
 so that they are satisfied in their jobs.
For instance
, in the recent news Doctor was been awarded for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
exceptional service and saving maximum
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 of the people which help motivating other professionals in the same field and help
retaining
Change the verb form
to retain
show examples
 them in their respective countries. In Conclusion, Government needs to take necessary steps for employment & desired salaries to the professional based on their experience whereas insufficient jobs would lead to
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 & more number of people will be migrating to developed countries in search of better opportunities.
Submitted by deepthikamath123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: