Some believe that secondary school children should study international news like other subjects in school, while others believe that this is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some say that giving knowledge about international
news
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is a waste of time,
while
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others say that it can be good for secondary school
children
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. Some areas of international
news
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can be not useful for
children
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, but I believe that there can be important
things
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to teach a
child
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about the
news
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. On the one hand, there is a lot of information in the
news
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that
children
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will need. Some
news
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channels talk about not crucial recent actions in government situations that for
children
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will not be important in future.
For example
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, when I was a boy, I enjoyed watching the
news
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with my father and when it came time for presidential elections, my dad always argued with my mother, about who had taken
this
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position.
As a result
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, the great people that were in that time, are now not needed persons.
On the other hand
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, there is a lot of other information in the
news
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that for a
child
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it must be learnt and it is important to teach only the
things
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that have a big place in the world and will have.
For instance
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, problems like global warming are essential to study in schools and if
children
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are the
things
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like global warming and the extinction of animals, it will be a great influence on future adult people to think about
this
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problem and think his solutions. In conclusion, there are people who say it is not needed to study
children
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in schools at the sources of international
news
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because there might be stuff that will be no improvement for the
child
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, but others believe including me that there can be other essential
news
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for
child
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and it is good to teach youngth for that
things
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.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points more comprehensively and provide additional relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on constructing smoother transitions between points to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant and specific examples that support your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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