IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Getting promotion is one of the biggest driver for people to apply to themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #driver #people #work #workplace #factors #influence
One of the main factors that encourage people at the workplace to work harder is
promotion
.
Promotion
 is a type of appreciation and encouragement to the performance one does.
Moreover
, it increases the salary, which means a high level of life and new roles and responsibilities. Other ways to influence employees to perform better, is by providing perks regularly, appreciating the tasks done by them, encouraging them to explore more and many more. Everyone wants to lead their lives in high standard, which can be achieved through money and getting fame in the society. These two things can be acquired by getting promoted in their workplace.
Moreover
, it adds more challenges and responsibilities which makes them more interested in their job.
For instance
, if an employee gets an assurance that they will be getting
promotion
 in the
next
 cycle, they would work harder so that they should not make any mistakes which would affect their
promotion
.
However
, there are many other factors that affect employers to perform well some of them are: exposing them to challenges, making them learn new things, appreciating them for their acheivements, providing perks regularly.
For example
, for an software engineer having challenging deadline makes them challenging, learning new technologies regularly will add skills to their profile, appreciating them with each deliveries by providing perks make them gratitude and tend to be more prompt. In conclusion, it is required to provide
promotion
 for deserving employees which make them work harder, at the same time it is necessary to provide them with more challenges and appreciations to make them work promptly.
Submitted by sahanakv02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: