It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationships and communication. (To what extent do you agree)

#member #piece #technology #people #break #relationships #communication

Presently,

itnis

Correct your spelling

it is

its

very simple that family members have their own electronic

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

Although

several people believe that all of

Add an article

the

show examples

echnological inventions will make people less intimate with family and be smaller to make conversations. From my point of view, I fully agree that modern technologies are made

Verify preposition usage

show examples

relationships with others worse. Nowadays people who have technological items

such

as smartphones, are made people less sociable.

However

, several people think that these inventions do not have effects due to

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

modern technologies like phones and etc., have many applications which can make contact with people.

For example

, the one application called Line, In

this

app has many functions.

Peoplenot

Correct your spelling

People not

only can create their groups, but

also

people can video calls or voice calls in

this

app, so if people apply essential apps in mobile phone, they will not become estranged with families and decrease communications. Even though, some people argue that electronic

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

are made a lot of bad results for humans because these things can make people

addict

Change the form of the verb

addicted

show examples

to them and do not want to do anything

elses

Correct your spelling

else

. Instance, more and more people particularly children have their own phones and

taplets

Correct your spelling

tablets

, so

then

they use every time and anywhere.

This

action is made family members decline to talk together.

Thus

, they should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

use hi-tech items in

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

ways. To conclude I feel that every people have their own equipment, but individual uses in the wrong ways, so some people think that

this

will make people do not intimate in relations and I strongly agree that

this

is bad things to talk with people less than before.

Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on Wed Dec 30 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
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12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Lexical resource: 4.0

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Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

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Relevant & specific examples

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