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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is true in the present era, more and more individuals argue that some nations are born with specific
talents
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,
for example
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, for sports or
music
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.
While
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 others in the community say any kid can learn to become a good musician or sports individual. In
this
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 essay, I will delve into a phenomenon by supporting relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, the nation is truly born, and they have certain
talents
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.
In addition
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, the parents can observe that when their children play, they can see what they prefer when they play.
Moreover
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, when their mother and father go to the supermarket, they see their sons want to buy special things like football or piano.
For instance
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, my younger sister when she went with her father bought
music
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-related items only, now she has become old and loves to play
music
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 in school. Another example: I liked to play volleyball when I was a child, and when I went to the shop, I bought a ball. Now I'm old, but I still favour playing it.
On the other hand
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, some of the nations change their
talents
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, and they prefer to learn a new capacity like sports,
music
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, reading, or writing. In more demonstration, the number of community when they become old Their inclinations and
talents
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 change to another thing. A study published at the University of Nizwa concluded that 90% of people altered their talent when they entered school.
Furthermore
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, my son, when he was a child, preferred to play
music
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, but now when he goes to school, he likes to play football rather than
music
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. In conclusion, both views are correct. In more illustrations, some kids are born with certain
talents
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. But others learn new things when they become old and choose new
talents
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 that they enjoy when they do it. The government and community should help their individuals to improve their
talents
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 and give them gifts to encourage them.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on developing clearer topic sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a central focus that supports your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a more explicit signposting in your essay to guide the reader through your arguments, such as using transitional phrases to link ideas.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. Aim to connect your personal experiences more clearly to the main points of the essay.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The personal examples used add a personal touch to your essay, making it relatable and engaging.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
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