The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government

It is often argued that avoidance of the

health

issues

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Add an article

show examples

hole lot better than

treatment

of it,

hence

the ministry will need to allocate a desirable amount of budget for it. I completely agree that the

government

should take full responsibility for the

health

care system by providing

Change the article

show examples

arge amount of money for preventing diseases.

Firstly

, the

government

need to spend more money for promoting awareness campaign for

disease

Change the noun form

diseases

show examples

such

as cancer and HIV, as these diseases mainly infect a person body by their bad habits or bad lifestyle or consuming products like

Add an article

show examples

igarette. For instances, if the

government

will ban tobacco products and give awareness to the public about their deadly life-threatening effects, it will simply

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

the

Change the article

show examples

better healthy lifestyle.

Secondly

, the

government

needs to boost their

health

care system by constructing more and more hospitals and even provide better food and water supply to the society so that it helps them for prevention of disease like malaria, dengue. These diseases originally

generate

Change the form of the verb

generated

show examples

from the water supply of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society. For instances, 20

year

Change to a plural noun

years

show examples

ago, Vietnam country is hugely infected by

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

malaria and even so

treatment

also

very costly at that time, so to overcome that crisis, their

government

mainly focused on the prevention of

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

malaria rather than

treatment

which actually cost them half as compare to the

treatment

. In conclusion, I strongly recommend that

government

should take the responsibility to manage their

health

system so they need to provide more awareness campaign about healthy lifestyle and take appropriate steps for preventing

any

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

diseases in their country.

Submitted by sunil4756 on Wed Dec 30 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism could be developed in the future which can help to develop countries' economies. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development ?
In my opinion, space expendition can bring nation vast economical prospects due to it reputation. To simplify, a trip go back and form in space can cost up to approximately millions of currencies in order to purchase the neccessary equipments on the futher trips. Therefore, space travel can bring a huge economy benefits to the host country.
4.5
band
Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some academics believe that when it comes to studying, it is neccessary to put students into groups. On the other hand, some teachers believe that learning alone drives a better impact for students. In my opinion, both of the learning ways should be applied to maximise greater results and understanding of the students.
7
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Some individuals claim that all experimentation on creatures should be out of law. Meanwhile, others think that due to these experiments, today, we achieved numerous scientific discoveries. In this essay, I will explore this topic deeply.
8.5
band
You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level
I have seen an advertisement for a week-long walking trip and I would like to join your group, however, I have some concerns and I am writing this letter to ask you some questions.
6
band
Write about the following topic: Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this present world, The number of population is increasing than the previous times. Housing become a crisis for many reasons, It disagrees that reassigning parkland for residential development could solve this problem. In this essay, we will talk about why there is not enough land for residences, and what the service needs to be near in the housing area .

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism could be developed in the future which can help to develop countries' economies. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?