IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree ?

#societies #people #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few topics have drawn as much scholarly attention as homeless people in societies, especially in the past few years. Some people opine that giving
money
Use synonyms
 to them is the best way to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Although
Linking Words
 there is substantial advocacy for
this
Linking Words
 idea, I'm of the opinion that
this
Linking Words
 advocacy is unwarranted, as it fails to take into account countless drawbacks of giving
money
Use synonyms
 to the homeless people. Primarily, by giving
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless people, the government can face financial problems which are not good for the whole nation. On the one hand, with the
money
Use synonyms
 funded by the governments, homeless people can't buy a home and resolve their problems. On the other, even owning a home never be a solution for homeless people.
In addition
Linking Words
, it creates more issues than before. Examples of
this
Linking Words
 scenario can be seen in many countries where governments released funds for homeless people to buy a home. Citizens who benefited by
this
Linking Words
 program sold their homes because they can't bear the house expenses and stock up on the basics. Admittedly, it is true that giving
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless people may make them happy, but one cannot dismiss the deleterious effects associated with it. Rather giving
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless citizens, the government should provide them with work where people can start earning
money
Use synonyms
. Not only creating jobs for these people make them meet their needs, but
also
Linking Words
 it boosts the country's economy. The government should recognize people with any physical disabilities and provide support for them to earn some
money
Use synonyms
 which gives them confidence. In conclusion, I would not wish to underestimate the benefits of giving
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless people.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the effects of providing
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless people, are far too great to ignore.
Submitted by dheerajsudarsanam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: