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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In today's world, various platforms provide open access to scientific, business, and academic research, making
this
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information
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 readily available to the public.
While
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 some argue that sharing
such
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information
Use synonyms
 promotes innovation and societal development, others contend that certain knowledge is too sensitive or valuable to be disseminated freely.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own opinion. First and foremost, there are groups of people who are of the opinion that
information
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 should be published without any restrictions. Sharing
information
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 and data
such
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 as health, business, and science is critical for improving our quality of life.
For instance
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, technological advancements help various professionals,
such
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 as scientists, university professors, and students, discover novel areas of research, which may lead to potentially advanced inventions and machinery. Ultimately, these innovations can facilitate efficient production.
On the other hand
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, some believe that certain types of
information
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 are too dangerous to be shared openly. If
such
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 data is released to the public, it could be misused by individuals with harmful intentions.
For example
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, if some countries gain access to nuclear
information
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, it could potentially lead to conflicts or wars.
Additionally
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, highly sensitive
information
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 can cause unnecessary worry and stress within society.
Moreover
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, public protests against these issues might undermine the authority of government officials, potentially leading to a loss of control. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some opponents of unrestricted
information
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 sharing, I strongly believe that the widespread dissemination of
information
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 offers significant advantages,
such
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 as enhancing, discovering, and inventing new technologies that improve people’s lives.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively covers both perspectives and provides a clear opinion. However, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will show an in-depth understanding of the topic and enhance the relevance of your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is solid, but you can improve the flow between paragraphs by using transition phrases or linking words. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly outlining the topic and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly stated, and you have presented a balanced view of both perspectives. This shows your ability to discuss complex topics comprehensively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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