Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
contemporary world, technology has brought in tremendous growth in students lives. There are two predominantly contradicting views are being debated in society. Some people
are believing
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that the
computers
Use synonyms
used for schooling are positive behaviour, the other portion of citizens says that it has negative impacts.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and I will provide my opinion with a logical conclusion. On the one hand, the
computer
Use synonyms
is one of the best inventions of technological advancements in recent
past
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
years.
Computers
Use synonyms
have given greater flexibility for a student in accessing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information over the internet
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
store
Wrong verb form
storing
show examples
it in a digital format and
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
it as and when needed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are
also
Linking Words
indirectly helping nature by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
usage
Use synonyms
which needs the destruction of trees.
In addition
Linking Words
, online education through
computers
Use synonyms
avoids the student's commute, which eventually helps them reduce their financial burdens.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the recent Covid-19
crisis
Add a comma
crisis,
show examples
all the students were able to use their gadgets to attend classes and complete their academic year without fail. In short, there are
innumerous
Replace the word
numerous
show examples
positive sides
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
schooling because of
computers
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
their ease of use.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are negligible demerits because of gadgets. To be precise, longer screen time to attend classes and
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
online will bring in health issues like eyesight and obesity.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
along with
Linking Words
internet
usage
Use synonyms
can be misused by children to watch unwanted content.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is a chance of an increase in criminal activities and unusual behaviours.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey projection in the USA has shown an increase in 17% of child crimes over the
last
Linking Words
2 years.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
in education has controllable negative impacts like health issues and addiction to bad content.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
, a portion of people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
the
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
impacts of
laptops
Change the noun form
laptop
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
in education, I completely agree with the other part of society for its multifold benefits. Good parenting with proper monitoring by limiting
computer
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
can bring
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
greater benefits to the younger generation.
Submitted by eshwar10882 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the use of computers in education and providing a clear opinion. However, there is room for improvement in developing the ideas with more depth and addressing the specific points in each view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting ideas could be better connected within and between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Additionally, using transition words more effectively can enhance the flow of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: