IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? You should write at least 250 words. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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MORE AND MORE OFTEN WE CAN APPRECIATE A DIFFERENT KIND OF melody IN THE WORLD. IT IS NOT ONLY DUE TO GLOBALIZATION, BUT PEOPLE
ALSO
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 DEPENDS ON MUSIC, FOR WORK, FOR FUN, FOR HELP DEVELOPMENT OF CHILD AND EVEN KEEPING ALIVE A HISTORY FROM A GROUP, WHICH
INITIALLY
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 SPREAD INSIDE A COUNTRY UNTIL GO OUT OVERSEAS. WITH NO DOUBT, MUSIC IS ONE OF THE MOST CULTURE SIGN DISCOVERY OVER THE YEARS AND STILL KEEPS BEEING REALLY IMPORTANT FOR SOCIETY.
FOR INSTANCE
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, PLAYING INSTRUMENTS HELPS TO CONTROL MENTAL DISEASE
SUCH
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 AS DEPRESSION OR EVEN BODY CONTROL.
ADDITIONALLY
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, SONG CAN BE A POLITICAL WAY TO SPEAK UP AGAINST GOVERNMENT OR ANOTHER UNHAPPY PROBLEM. TO ILLUSTRATE, CAETANO VELOSO IS A FAMOUS BRAZILIAN SINGER WHO HELPED THEM TO HAVE FREEDOM FROM MILITAR DIDATORY. INTERNATIONAL singing IS A CONSEQUENCE OF NATIONAL ONES. BECAUSE OF IT, IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO SAY THAT THE tune WHICH IS AVAILABLE OVERSEAS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE INSIDE CONTENT. THE MAIN REASON IS that A SONG WILL ONLY TURN FAMOUS AND PLAY OUTSIDE WHETHER IT GETS POWERFUL INSIDE,
FIRST
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 OF ALL. PEOPLE MUST SUPPORT TRADICIONAL SONGS
,
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 BECAUSE IT TELLS HISTORIES AND MAY HAVE OTHER INSTRUMENTALS PLAYING WHICH DOES NOT EXIST IN DIFFERENT TYPE.
SUCH
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 AS BERIMBAL WHICH IS AN INSTRUMENT REALLY COMMON IN CAPOEIRA STYLE. IF WE ONLY CONSIDERED THE SPOTIFY TOP LIST, WE WOULD PROBABLY DESTROY AN HISTORY, CULTURE AND INSTRUMENTAL EXISTENCE. IN CONCLUSION, MUSIC IS DEFINITELY ESSENTIAL TO US IN MANY WAYS
SUCH
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 AS EDUCATIONAL, HEALTHY, HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL.
IN ADDITION
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, TRADICIONAL SONGS bring A CULTURE MEANING AND MUST BE SPECIAL TO BE LISTENING AND GLORIFY.
OTHERWISE
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, WE WILL ONLY PLAY ALWAYS THE SAME AND IT WILL LOSE THE POWERFULL OF IT.
Submitted by sayurionari on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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