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Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say material possessions are very useful in bringing us happiness, but others argue that they are useless in terms of providing happiness. discuss both views and give your opinion and reasons

#people #possessions #happiness #terms
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People are of the
opinion
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 that earthly
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possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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 are a major
source
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 of
happiness
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while
Linking Words
 others hold a different view, arguing that wealth holds no value in bringing about
joy
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 material
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possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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 may be a
source
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 of
happiness
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, it does not provide permanent
joy
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 and may be associated with sadness. Both views
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be
further
Linking Words
 discussed and my
opinion
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given
Add the auxiliary verb
is given
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.
Happiness
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 is a derivative of earthly
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possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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, as believed by certain individuals. Achieving a milestone or completing a project
such
Linking Words
 as building a mansion,
completing
Correct word choice
or completing
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 a family size brings gladness to the heart of men which they hold on to for a long period of time.
For instance
Linking Words
, a cousin of mine who was overjoyed at his recent appointment as the
govenor
Correct your spelling
governor
 of
benue
Change the capitalization
Benue
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 state, though tasked with many responsibilities, was glad
having
Change the verb form
to have
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 achieved
such
Linking Words
feat
Correct article usage
a feat
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. He threw a grand party in celebration of his
happiness
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, simple momentary things, like a gift, purchasing a car or
exceling
Correct your spelling
excelling
 at an examination can be a vital
source
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 of
joy
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 to individuals. In my
opinion
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, wealth and earthly
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possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
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 play a role in generating
happiness
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, but it is shortlived.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a different view of wealth not contributing to
happiness
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 is held by some individuals.
Mans
Change noun form
Mans's
Man's
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 wants are insatiable and constantly
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
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 from time to time,
thus
Linking Words
joy
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 is subjective.
Happiness
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 may occur following an achievement but it is temporary as another task is set, failure to fulfill
such
Linking Words
task
Correct article usage
a task
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 may
subsequently
Linking Words
 result in sadness which eventually leads to a depressed state.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend who failed an examination following the loss of his mum became depressed and almost committed suicide, but for the intervention of family members. In my
opinion
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,
happiness
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 should be derived from an eternal
source
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 that changeth not.
Thus
Linking Words
, irrespective of life's situation, one
joy
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 is full. In conclusion, material
possesion
Correct your spelling
possession
possessions
 may contribute temporarily to
happiness
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,
such
Linking Words
joy
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 is
short lived
Add a hyphen
short-lived
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 as
mans
Change noun form
man's
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want fluctuates
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants fluctuate
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 and vanity equals vanity. God is the main
source
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 of everlasting
joy
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.
Submitted by Dammy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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