Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

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A certain section of people

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that joy is directly related to our financial standing, whereas others feel that happiness does not rely on the amount of

money

Use synonyms

we possess.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the fact

money

Use synonyms

is the key to joy because it can help

peope

Correct your spelling

people

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their materialistic goals and

presnt

Correct your spelling

present

them an opportunity to contribute to society by helping the poor. Basic needs

such

Linking Words

as food, shelter and clothing require finances without which accessibility to them will not be possible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, surplus income helps people

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their material dreams of buying

ameneties

Correct your spelling

amenities

that they long for.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

leads to personal satisfaction and happiness which cannot happen if a

person

Use synonyms

is struggling to make both ends meet.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

abundence

Correct your spelling

abundance

money

Use synonyms

gives a

person

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the power to

puurchase

Correct your spelling

purchase

their favourite car, house or travel abroad that leads to a happy state of mind.

Secondly

Linking Words

, being economically sound

also

Linking Words

gives us an opportunity to help the needy and poor, which cannot happen if a

person

Use synonyms

does not have enough funds. Giving back to

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society

also

Linking Words

creates a feeling of

contenment

Correct your spelling

contentment

and pleasure for a human being. Social work

such

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as starting a charity and offering financial aid to weaker sections in society needs funding which can only be viable if a

person

Use synonyms

is wealthy. To illustrate, charity organizations set up by business tycoons

such

Linking Words

as Ratan Tata, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are live examples of social service. In conclusion, if people do not have sufficient

money

Use synonyms

then

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they will not be in a

postion

Correct your spelling

position

to afford material desires or even get a chance to help the poor that are in need.

Further

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this

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, they

wuill

Correct your spelling

will

always be dissatisfied and unhappy.

Hence

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, achieving happiness will only be a long drawn dream.

Submitted by dipalisklc on Sun Jan 03 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Your opinion

Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2 Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?