IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat an cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
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Presently, a
lot
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 of people have
health
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 issues, so some people think that they should follow a vegetarian diet for their
health
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. From my point of view, I fully agree that
meat
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 is made people unhealthy. On the one hand, more and more people love to eat
meat
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 likes beef, pork and etc., so in the future people will have problems
about
Verify preposition usage
with
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 their
health
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.
However
Linking Words
, several people think that
meat
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is not cause
Change the verb form
does not cause
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 that people
h
Add the particle
to
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ave care troubles because they think that people do not exercise is a cause.
For example
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, if people who eat a
lot
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 of
meat
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, and they do not exercise, they will have some diseases
such
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 as fat problem and cholesterol.
Thus
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, if they do not exercise, they will have
a
Remove the article
apply
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bad
health
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.
On the other hand
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, more and more people argue that eating
meat
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 is cause serious problems because
meat
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 has a
lot
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 of drawbacks.
For example
Linking Words
, if people eat a
lot
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 of
meat
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, they will flatulence. If they just eat beef and they do not eat
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v
Add an article
a
the
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egetable, they will flatulence.
Lastly
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, people who love fried chickens and eat it
everyday
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every day
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, they will have a problem
on
Verify preposition usage
with
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 their bones.
Therefore
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, people should eat more
vegetable
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 than
meat
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for
Verify preposition usage
to
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make
Change the verb form
making
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 their
health
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 better than before. To sum up, today people prefer to eat
meat
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 more than
vegetable
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, it makes people have a
lot
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 of serious care problems, so people should
to
Change the verb form
apply
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eat
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v
Add an article
a
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egetable to protect their
health
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 and I strongly agree that people should not eat
meat
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 too much, and they should turn to eat more salads.
Submitted by thanaruporn.1 on

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