IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that we spend most of our time working because people desire a better life.
However
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, in the modern economy, where labour is in high demand, working hours have increased, leaving people with little time to take care of themselves. With the above problem, reducing working hours , the short working week is essential
Work
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 is beneficial as it motivates personal growth, but excessive
work
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 has negative consequences to do with mental
health
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 and a lack of
work
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 productivity.
In other words
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, it not only affects
health
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 but
also
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 ineffective
work
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. As for
health
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 effects, because too much
work
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 and deadlines are waiting to be handled, people tend to solve all to finish.
As a result
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, employees could not balance between their life and
work
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. Over time,
this
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 imbalance can lead to burnout, stress, and even severe
health
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 issues
such
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 as heart disease. What’s more, poor eating habits and weakened mental
health
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 lead to decreased
work
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 efficiency.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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policies to protect workers’ rights are born to limit the abuse of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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. The policy of reducing working hours and remuneration policies for employees with rest, showing that the proposal of a short working week is a completely reasonable thing.
For instance
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, studies have shown that countries with shorter workweeks,
such
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 as Sweden and the Netherlands, report higher levels of employee satisfaction and
overall
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 well-being. In short, humans are not machines that can
work
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 endlessly without rest. Excessive
work
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 will affect the person itself
as well as
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 the development of that country. A shorter workweek is a practical solution to enhance employee well-being and
overall
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 productivity.

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task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement clearly states your position (agree/disagree) in a straightforward manner.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving your topic sentences to better align each paragraph with the main argument of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your claims about the benefits of a shorter workweek.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and punctuation errors to enhance the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument about the benefits of a shorter workweek, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay flows logically from one point to another, making it easy for the reader to follow your ideas.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples from countries like Sweden and the Netherlands to support your argument, which adds credibility to your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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