Advertising influences people to buy thing such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solutions can be given?
Advertising is a key part of modern business. It is the common statement that adverts aim to persuade the common man to buy things like clothes and accessories.
This
might cause
a negative impact on society. Verb problem
have
However
, this
essay sorts out some of the problems and remedies for the situation.
First and foremost, advertising manipulates people which would eventually lead to purchasing the products
and feels
that it would make them happy. Wrong verb form
feeling
Moreover
, the advertisers focus
on selling a brand image on the market Wrong verb form
focused
were
encouraged to associate certain brands with a higher status. Correct word choice
and were
For example
, wearing a shirt of a famous brand named 'Otto', feels the person who has a higher reputation in society. In addition
, children
can easily be influenced by advertisements where
put pressure on parents to buy them unnecessary kinds of stuff.
Correct word choice
that
On the other hand
, advertising should be regulated. In some countries, it was illegal to advertise negative adverts of bad products
which affect the people badly. The adverts which are aimed at children
should be regulated or even banned in order to avoid selling of
unnecessary Change preposition
apply
products
which might harm the children
. For instance
, changing the mind
of Fix the agreement mistake
minds
children
by teaching them to buy needy products
other than unwanted things to plan accordingly
in the coming
near future. Correct word choice
apply
Additionally
, concern
authorities should take Replace the word
concerned
actions
to avoid future problems related to harmful advertisements.
In conclusion, advertising is necessary for free-market economics which creates demand for the goods. Fix the agreement mistake
action
However
, governments should only censor false information or products
that are harmful to community
and Add an article
the community
warning
might be displayed on the unhealthy goods.Fix the agreement mistake
warnings
Submitted by Siby on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a coherent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are places where the logic of your arguments could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
You have presented relevant and specific examples to support your points. To improve your score in this criterion, ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a more comprehensive response, considering all aspects of the issue.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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