Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, it is suggested that young ones affected the adverse factors by fascinating

super stars

Correct your spelling

superstars

show examples

who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

gotten plenty of interests rather than they actually had. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will elaborate on both argument of celebrities' influences to

Use synonyms

y

Add an article

the

show examples

oungster but personally, I agree that the critical results which young people had extremely compulsion to maintain the beautiful and charming lifestyle in their ordinary lives.

To begin

Linking Words

with, famous people normally provide

up-to-dated

Correct your spelling

up-to-date

show examples

style for the youth generation, using their attractive physical features

such

Linking Words

as suitable body proportions and sophisticated makeup. These offered gorgeous and fancy products' information have valuable influences for someones who is into

f

Add an article

the

show examples

ashion industry or who try to gain new trends knowledge for preparing their achievements in the future.

For example

Linking Words

, the Kim who was

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the best celebrities as

d

Add an article

a

show examples

esigner always research the quality clothes for suitable each famous person because the designer insists

Verify preposition usage

on

show examples

the importance of celebrities' intense influences for

Use synonyms

y

Add an article

the

a

show examples

oungster.

Therefore

Linking Words

,

likewise

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

case, it can be seen that celebrities absolutely have

Add the particle

to

show examples

lead the young people's trends.

However

Linking Words

, popular stars' effects are not always positive for young ones.

That is

Linking Words

because, as mentioned above, those celebrities tend to remain beautiful lifestyles so, young men tend to follow their lives.

Thus

Linking Words

, minors started heavy makeup at the primary schools and adolescents' consumption patterns had changed to purchase useless items, even though those goods are expensive.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Korea in the year

2

Change the article

the

show examples

010s, one superstar had contracted the North-Face company which produces high prices outers, after

then

Linking Words

, most

Use synonyms

youngster

Change to a plural noun

youngsters

show examples

bought it and wore at the school. Followed the other problem is, if some students could not have those items, they had been discriminated by peers.

That is

Linking Words

because

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I feel that famous people could attack young people's life as vicious effects. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

celebrities having positive influences for students and youth generations, they are more likely to bring

n

Add an article

the

a

show examples

egative situation to the student's lifestyle.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is convincing that the relevant entertainment businesses should control the

youngster

Use synonyms

's industry like well-refined.