IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, TV channels broadcast man’s sport shows more than women’s sport shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal showtime for women’s sport and men’s sport?

#tv #channels #broadcast #man’s #sport #women’s #showtime #men’s
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In recent years, a majority of television channels showing more sports programs dedicating to men or having men involved than those relating to or having the involvement of women. As my observation, there are some reasons which can explain the situation.  
Firstly
Linking Words
, TV channels have the tendency of focusing mainly
in
Verify preposition usage
on
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 men's
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 shows due to the people's prejudice of the people taking part in sports activities. Majority of the general public for years seems to consider men are the main, if not only, players of different kinds of sports despite the fact that there have been serval progress in increasing the number of women playing sports or even having women-dedicated sports activities, the prejudice has not been changed much. That leads to the fact that the public
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to observe and enjoy men's sports competition than watching those for women.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the number of
m
Add an article
a
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en sports league is
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
 those of women sports competitions. As the results of the general public prejudgement
regrading
Correct your spelling
regarding
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 the key gender of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities, organizers and sports associations tend to gain more focus in creating, funding and organizing a variety of sports leagues focusing on men rather than those for women. That leads the situation of having larger schedules for men's sports and fewer or even none for women's sports. From my understanding of the situation, I personally think TV channels should have equal timeslots for sports programmes for both mentioned genders. Since one of many main roles of the media is shaping and leading the general public's opinion, TV stations should increase the timeslot for sports news reports and shows mentioning the women's
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 competitions in order to
letting
Change the verb
let
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 the more people realize the fact that women can play sports
as well as men, more women's
Add the comma(s)
, as well as men, more women's sport leauge,
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
leauge
Correct your spelling
leagues
league
 will gain the public, organizers and investors attention to attract more sports observers.
Submitted by phuonglan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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