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Band 8

Some people think that the (government should provide (assistance) to (all kinds of artists) including painters, musicians, and poets. However, other people think that (this is a waste of money). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #assistance #kinds #artists #painters #musicians #poets #waste #money
Whether governments should support
artists
 or not, has always been a debatable topic.
Whereas
 some people think that tax-payers money should not be spent on
artists
, others, including me, believe that a sort of government aid is better offered for
artists
. On the one hand, those who believe that financial aid should never be given to support arts, defend their standpoint by arguing that, government focus should be on the more pressing matters.
Health care
Correct your spelling
Healthcare
show examples
 and education are usually brought up as examples of sectors that could benefit from more governmental spending.
In addition
, the opposers argue that more spending on
artists
 means one of two things; either more taxes, which puts a huge strain on the economy or less spending on the previously mentioned sectors, which, of course, is undesirable.
On the other hand
, as many would agree,
art
 plays a vital role in developing personalities; It can
also
 be used to promote good values; like sympathy and coexistence. Not subsidizing any money for the
art
 and
artists
 might negatively affect society. The reason for
this
 is that artistic careers like painting and creative writing are usually not as financially rewarding as other careers. That being said, if we do not help aspiring
art
 creators, they might not be able to make a living and provide for themselves and their families.
As a result
, they might quit
art
 altogether in order to look for higher-paying jobs.
To conclude
, by looking at both sides of the argument, I can say that,
although
 those who oppose having any money spent on arts in fear of it leading to affecting other sectors hold a valid point, I believe that providing reasonable financial support for those who are starting a career in arts would be beneficial to the society and is worth it.
Submitted by shorouk.s.abdelaziz on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your argumentation and explore all aspects of the topic in depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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