IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

#gift #camera #soccer #ball #child’s #development #child #support #choice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People learn and develop throughout their entire lives. I think that in our modern world it is very essential to be familiar with
computer
Use synonyms
 technology. So, if I had a chance to give a child a gift it would be a
computer
Use synonyms
. I think that
computers
Use synonyms
 play an essential role in our lives and they bring many benefits to our society.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 can learn by
use
Use synonyms
 of
computers
Use synonyms
. In the following paragraphs
Add a comma
,
show examples
I will give my reasons to support my answer.
First
Linking Words
 of all, by
Use synonyms
u
Add an article
the
show examples
se of
computers
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 can play many games, which help to improve
children
Use synonyms
's ability to think logically, think about their
next
Linking Words
 step, etc.
Moreover
Linking Words
, playing games develop many important qualities
such
Linking Words
 as attention, patience, persistent, etc.
Second
Linking Words
 of all,
computers
Use synonyms
 help
children
Use synonyms
 to learn more about anything by
use
Use synonyms
 of
I
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet. They can find new friends even from another country.
Children
Use synonyms
 will improve their communication skills, gain more knowledge and experience.
Also
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 have a great opportunity to learn more about other countries, their history, traditions and customs.
Finally
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
 skills can help a child to find his or her
first
Linking Words
 job. A child can find an ad on the Internet about a job offer or he or she can make a resume and place it on the Internet. Personally, I think it is a great experience and a big step forward towards a future career.
In addition
Linking Words
 to those practical benefits,
computer
Use synonyms
 technology helps
children
Use synonyms
 to do their homework faster. They can type their data into the
computer
Use synonyms
, easily check the grammar, correct mistakes and
then
Linking Words
 print it out.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are plenty of different kinds of educational programs that can help
children
Use synonyms
 learn how to read, write, draw and even how to behave and speak a foreign language. To sum up, I believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should learn how to
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
omputer because
this
Linking Words
 knowledge will help them in the future to be more self-confident and enterprising.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
computers
Use synonyms
 can greatly improve and simplify their lives if
children
Use synonyms
 know how to
use
Use synonyms
 them.
Submitted by nigareliqizi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: