Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill

As a well-known factor,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system varies from one country to another. It is widely argued by some individuals,
in
Correct pronoun usage
that in
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most of the schools at all levels of teaching right from primary till graduation is entirely based on facts with less focus on practicals. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above statement as it helps to prepare the graduates to do well in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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once they enter the working environment.
Also
, would contribute to increasing self-confidence and decision-making. To commence with,
Firstly
, the methodology adopted in an educational institution should be changed by including more field practice, rather
having
Change preposition
than having
show examples
it only as theoretical sessions.
Secondly
, the lesson learnt based on the fact may not be useful if the student does not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hands-on experience.
In other words
, in order to handle and analyse real-life situations and make quick decisions, it is mandatory to have them trained with the required
field-work
Correct your spelling
fieldwork
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.
For Instance
, A student from the accounting department, who was offered a position as an accountant, will not be able to perform his or he job immediately as he or she requires training, which will be provided by the organisation to carry out their responsibilities.
Furthermore
, by conducting
onsite-training
Correct your spelling
onsite training
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the young minds will know what to expect once they enter their job search or even when they get placed in a reputed company.
Such
an improvement will help them to enhance their talent and generate ideas to tackle the actualities.
Also
, it will boost the self-confidence in decision-making when it is needed. To cite an example, during an interview
session
Add a comma
session,
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a novice was given a scenario and expected to plan based on the information given. In
such
a situation a candidate should hold
good
Correct article usage
a good
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presence of mind and
spontaneous
Add a missing verb
be spontaneous
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, which he can obtain only from actual training rather than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
typical classroom learning.
To conclude
, education is
very
Rephrase
apply
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essential in order to sustain in
this
contemporary world once you enter the workplace.
Hence
, to perform well after your university education, the onsite training experience will have a significant impact on the growth of learners.
Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide clear, comprehensive ideas. Use specific examples to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on improving the connection between ideas within paragraphs and consider using linking words to enhance coherence.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • education system
  • curriculum
  • factual knowledge
  • practical skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem solving
  • academic achievement
  • real-world application
  • balance
  • integration
  • learning outcomes
  • employment opportunities
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