Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

#media #networks #person

The advancement of technology has led to

the

Correct article usage

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growing dependence on social

media

. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

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this

has helped us expand our social network, it has

also

promoted a tendency of

self - isolation

Correct your spelling

self-isolation

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and awkwardness during physical interactions. I agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will give relevant reasons to support my opinion.

Firstly

, the continuous use of social

media

platforms has led to a habit of connecting with

people

virtually.

This

has

further

resulted in changing our behavioral habits of socially interacting with one another and

hence

, makes an

in person

Add a hyphen

in-person

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conversation with someone challenging and difficult.

Consequently

, virtual platforms are extremely addictive and have reduced our concentration levels of participating in society with

people

around; as it is often noticed that we are still active on these tools during social events.

For instance

, Facebook and Instagram users are often observed posting pictures and videos during a live gathering rather than enjoying the moment with

people

present during that occasion;

such

instances usually occur during moments of total silence.

Secondly

, communicating through social

media

is often misleading and does not portray the correct picture of who we are in reality.

This

might result in an embarrassing meeting with someone because of which they might shy away from a

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

interaction.

For example

, profiles created on dating or matrimonial websites cannot completely depict who these

people

really are and

therefore

, only a non-virtual meet can reveal their true personality and character. In conclusion,

although

social

media

platforms help us connect with many

people

virtually, it has adversely affected our ability to interact with the world physically and

Unnecessary verb

apply

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also

fails

Correct subject-verb agreement

fail

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to represent our individuality.

Submitted by dipalisklc on Sun Jan 10 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

277 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays people work too hard. What is the reason for this? What should employers do to prevent employees from overworking?

A friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. say where you went, where you stayed, what you can do there and what the food was like.

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the teenagers and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?