The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the well-being care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more game and exercise in the academy . In my opinion, I completely agree that

this

is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public energy in relation to weight.

Firstly

, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more athletics and exercise in institution.

This

method will ensure that the

generation will be healthier and will not have

such

strength problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does game possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their

otherwise

sedentary lifestyle.

However

, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for adolescent in the institute will probably result in teenager developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer-lasting effect.

In other words

, parents with sporty offspring are more likely to get involved in the port as a way of encouraging their youngster. By both parents and juvenile being involved, it will ensure that minor grow up to incorporate athletics into their daily lives.

This

is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public fitness. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing athletics in Schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.

Submitted by Prabhjot on Mon Jan 11 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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