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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the near future?

#obesity #children #countries #effects #future
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Obesity amongst
children
 is a growing concern that the world has been grappling with and
hence
, requires immediate attention.
This
 essay will
initially
 discuss some
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
the major causes of
this
 problem, followed by the possible impact that it might have on our future generation.
Firstly
, some of the primary causes leading to weight gain are lack of exercise, poor diet and inhering genetics. It is a known fact that school students prefer consuming fast food that increases fat deposits in the body.
Furthermore
, poor genetics coupled with lack of physical activity not only reduces metabolism
,
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apply
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 but
further
 leads to unhealthy weight gain.
For instance
, consumption of sugary drinks and junk food is highly popular among students in school canteens which give rise to obesity.
On the other hand
,
this
 condition can
also
 have an alarming impact on the physical as well as mental health of a child.
Consequently
, health hazards
such
 as high blood pressure,
heart related
Add a hyphen
heart-related
show examples
 problems and increased cholesterol levels are common problems that overweight teenagers face.
In addition
, issues related to depression, inferiority complex and reduced memorizing ability are mental implications faced by obese youngsters.
As a result
,
this
 not only leads to a disturbing environment for
children
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 affects their academic progress. To illustrate, overweight
children
 often face social challenges
such
 as bullying and body shaming which can be mentally detrimental. In conclusion, obesity in
children
 is a growing concern globally which leads to physical and mental ailments.
Hence
, it highly imperative to safeguard our
next
 generation by encouraging a healthy lifestyle so that we can reduce and eradicate
this
 problem.
Submitted by dipalisklc on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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