IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well-being. What are the causes of this? Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions.

#people #attention #support #explanations
In today's fast-paced lifestyle, the majority of the people are not giving importance to their body both mentally and physically. We are going to discuss some possible reasons and remedies of the aforesaid issue. To commence with, we spend a larger part of our day in earning our livelihood either in-office or other workplaces. The urge to succeed in our careers results in long working hours, tours and many more. To illustrate with, as per the recently published census report, In the nineteen fifties particularly in the United States more than thirty per cent of the families have their dinner together which drastically decreased to approximately ten per cent in two thousand and ten.
Therefore
, The growing rush of earning more and living a lavish lifestyle is putting immense pressure on an individual's mind and body both.
However
, we can reverse the adverse effects of
such
 issues if we manage our surroundings in a better way.
To begin
 with, the vital part of the process of rejuvenating ourself is to have a proper work-life balance. where one can have an ample amount of time with their family and loved ones.
In addition
 to
this
 as rightly said a health mind resides in a healthy body, we should
also
 have personal time for physical exercises to keep ourself in shape. To conclude, the fast-moving lifestyle and unfavourable working culture are some of the reasons where people lose track of there physical and mental health.
On the other hand
,family interactions and regular exercises will help tremendously to cope up the cause.
Submitted by cjsvig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-being
  • hectic
  • juggling responsibilities
  • self-care
  • societal pressure
  • neglecting
  • awareness
  • economic constraints
  • nutritious food
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • stigmatization
  • work-life balance
  • public awareness
  • accessible healthcare
  • destigmatize
What to do next:
Look at other essays: