Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to

the advent of

technology

, our lives have undergone a drastic change. Life, at present, has become much more comfortable, easy, and dynamic than in the past.

While

I agree that life has been more complicated since the revolution in

technology

, I could not imagine how our lives could be without it. On the one hand, some drawbacks could be seen in the era of

technology

. First and foremost, it is associated with a sedentary lifestyle. To be more specific, nowadays, young

people

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

prefer to spend more time on technological equipment rather than do outdoor activities, which is associated with an increase in the number of

people

suffering from obesity or eye problems.

Additionally

, sophisticated machines and artificial intelligence have replaced the role of humans in the industry in recent years.

As a result

, many workers become unemployed, which leads to a significant burden on the government for dealing with public problems.

On the other hand

technology

brings various advantages to human beings.

First,

it connects

people

all over the world. In fact, thanks to the invention of high-tech gadgets

such

as computers or smartphones,

people

now can communicate with each other

easier

Rephrase

more easily

show examples

than ever before.

Furthermore

, the Internet enables

people

to get access to online classes independent of their geographical locations, which is very useful for rural students.

Last

but not least, smart home appliances make women free from house chores;

therefore

, they could spend more time on their private work

as well as

their family. In conclusion, simplifying by removing

technology

will make our lives more and more complex.

Instead

, we need to find a solution to maximize the benefits of

technology

while

minimizing its harmful effects.

Submitted by dinhvyhanh on Tue Jan 12 2021

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the complexity of your sentences by varying sentence structures and using a range of conjunctions. This will improve the logical flow and connectivity of your ideas, demonstrating a higher level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancements
Information overload
Social media
Decision fatigue
Paradox of choice
Efficiency
Healthcare advancements
Quality of life
Global connectivity
Digital divide
Selective usage
Unnecessary complexity
Simpler lifestyle
Integrate

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Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Topic: It is common for young people to go abroad to study at university instead of studying in their home contry. Do the advantages of studying at university in another country outweigh the disadvantages?

If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own countries. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this development?

Some businesses find that new employees who just finish their education lack basic interpersonal ability such as work with others as a part of team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? And how to solve this?