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Band 6.5

Sketching A Dream: How Japan Inspires My Artistic Journey

#dream #japan #journey
Artists aren’t extraordinary at all; they’re all just stubborn kids who refused to put down their crayons as a child.”
This
 quote deeply resonates with my soul. I was exposed to the world of
art
 when my uncle showed me anime at the age of seven. I vividly remember the very first time I watched anime, it was “Hunter X Hunter”. When I saw it, it felt as if my little brain just had an epiphany; the mesmerizing
art
, compelling storyline, and fluidity of animation genuinely left me star-struck. From that moment on,
this
 overly determined kid’s awkward, stiff fingers got to work. Drawing on every surface she could find, seeking tutorials—even using a language she couldn’t understand. Soon after, she discovered how to draw in an anime
art
 style from Japanese artists,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 day and night. Soon, her hands got used to the motion and realized that drawing had become second nature to her. That overly determined kid was me. In the back of my mind, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan to pay tribute to the country that had inspired me. I had fallen in love with their
art
 and their culture. I know that I can see and feel
art
 in every corner of Japan—from their streets,
buildings
Correct word choice
and buildings
show examples
, to their people.
While
 in Japan, I plan to immerse myself in their beauty, create unique
art
, and share it with the world, hoping to inspire other artists along the way. With SFL’s program,
this
 dream of mine is in front of my eyes; it feels so surreal. I’m deeply grateful to SFL for the opportunity that they have given me. Regardless of the outcome, I will never cease to continue making
art
.
Submitted by novendyevan122 on

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task response
To enhance your essay further, consider providing more concrete examples or detailed scenarios about how you plan to immerse yourself in Japanese culture and art. This will add more depth to your task response.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases to make the flow of ideas even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a well-articulated introduction and conclusion, framing your artistic journey and future aspirations nicely.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, making it easy to follow your journey and understand your passion for Japanese art.
task response
You've provided relevant specific examples, such as the anime 'Hunter X Hunter' and your determination to draw, which effectively illustrate your points.
task response
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showcasing your enthusiasm and gratitude towards art and the opportunity from SFL.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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