Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

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It is a well-known fact that those who worked for a long time and attained the retirement age would leave their workplace and

then

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have their own leisure time.

Although

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there are some people who against

this

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tradition, I believe that it should be kept. In

this

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essay, the reason why I give an agreement, and several of my experiences will be discussed. For most people, it is no doubt to say that task is hard and difficult, at least it is not easy. By ageing, men and women get wicked physically and it could bring inefficiency of doing their task and duty in the workplace. As a sequence,

this

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phenomenon renders them get more stress than younger co-workers, and it could occur serious diseases like heart strike. One of my acquaintances who was working over retire age stroke all of sudden in the work shift time. And he had to stay for 4 months until recover. The main reason was overworking even though it was not hard for young co-workers.

Moreover

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, by retiring works, the chances for youth to get a new job will be multiplied.

For instance

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, in many countries are suffering from extremely high unemployment rates. The governments think that leaving a job due to reaching the retirement age can be a solution to relieve

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problem. Not only are the young able to get a new occupation, but

also

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the retired can enjoy their rest life without working hour. To conclude, the continuing job may be better for someone who is needed in their workplace, but I think it would be better to stop for both individual and society.

Submitted by laplaseo9007 on Wed Jan 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension systems
financial security
physical and mental health
youth unemployment
job opportunities
fresh perspectives
hobbies and interests
passionate workers
flexible retirement options
social security
recuperate
decades of hard work
contribute skills and experience
financial difficulties

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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children. Discuss both views.

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