Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement

It is a well-known fact that those who worked for a long time and attained the retirement age would leave their workplace and

then

have their own leisure time.

Although

there are some people who against

this

tradition, I believe that it should be kept. In

this

essay, the reason why I give an agreement, and several of my experiences will be discussed. For most people, it is no doubt to say that task is hard and difficult, at least it is not easy. By ageing, men and women get wicked physically and it could bring inefficiency of doing their task and duty in the workplace. As a sequence,

this

phenomenon renders them get more stress than younger co-workers, and it could occur serious diseases like heart strike. One of my acquaintances who was working over retire age stroke all of sudden in the work shift time. And he had to stay for 4 months until recover. The main reason was overworking even though it was not hard for young co-workers.

Moreover

, by retiring works, the chances for youth to get a new job will be multiplied.

For instance

, in many countries are suffering from extremely high unemployment rates. The governments think that leaving a job due to reaching the retirement age can be a solution to relieve

this

problem. Not only are the young able to get a new occupation, but

also

the retired can enjoy their rest life without working hour. To conclude, the continuing job may be better for someone who is needed in their workplace, but I think it would be better to stop for both individual and society.

Submitted by laplaseo9007 on Wed Jan 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension systems
financial security
physical and mental health
youth unemployment
job opportunities
fresh perspectives
hobbies and interests
passionate workers
flexible retirement options
social security
recuperate
decades of hard work
contribute skills and experience
financial difficulties

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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienc

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Differing amount of nitrogen oxide by four types of vehicles.

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Museums and art gallaries should concentrate on works that show histroy and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?