IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#educationalists #exchange #visits #benefit #teenagers #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is often discussed that
parents
Use synonyms
 should allow their
children
Use synonyms
 to utilize
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cutting-edge gadgets for acquiring
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technological knowledge. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on both the merit and demerit of
this
Linking Words
 debate and discuss which aspect has more powerful influences on minors.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, reckless information obviously demonstrates a drawback. Generally, the advances in technology, most electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 have a lot of functions and data which students do not need to know about that.
For instance
Linking Words
, when students deal with the searching function, they are exposed by several sexual images because of the unreasonable advertisements.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 claim that they have to regulate their
children
Use synonyms
 for accessing the ensured websites and safe
devices
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, given that the potential success in
school
Use synonyms
, others insist that
parents
Use synonyms
 should provide
v
Add an article
a
show examples
aluable chance to use those
devices
Use synonyms
 despite adolescent could be affected by useless information. Here is a major positive side, academic achievement clearly illustrates the issue at hand. In recent years, most public schools have been inclined to alter their learning process to handle the up-to-dated skills
such
Linking Words
 as the video editing lecture, and the cording class.
Hence
Linking Words
, if a kid already had
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 experience to deal with those smart technology, the child could get a high mark in the
school
Use synonyms
, it can be an appropriate case. As shown, some people assume that for reaching successful achievement in
school
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should allow
children
Use synonyms
 to play desktop as much their needs. As
first
Linking Words
 glance, it may seem that technological gadgets have adverse influences.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 could prepare their
school
Use synonyms
 classes from using those
devices
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is convincing that positive side surpasses than negative side, so
parents
Use synonyms
 feel secure that their offspring to access
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
those
devices
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kooji6856 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationalists
  • international exchange visits
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • exposes
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • enhances
  • language skills
  • promotes
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • builds
  • lifelong friendships
  • provides
  • unique learning experiences
  • expensive
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • careful planning
  • logistical arrangements
  • disrupt
  • academic progress
  • safety
  • security risks
  • cultural appropriation
  • misunderstandings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: