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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe children's behaviour should be strictly controlled, whereas other think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people asserted that the
behaviour
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 of
children
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 should be controlled, other masses have opined that
children
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 ought to have the freedom to behave what they want.
Although
Linking Words
 both points of view have their own weightage, In my opinion,parents should closely focus on their
children
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's conduct. Many enthusiastic including me, believe that
children
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 etiquette should be strictly controlled because they are in the age of making or breaking of the habits. The way they behave at
this
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 age will have a significant effect on their personality. If they behave rudely or badly
this
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 will become their habit. Parents should closely see their
behaviour
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 and tell them what is wrong and what is right.
For example
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, according to the report published in Child Care, 70% of personal manners are those which are adopted in the age of childhood.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people have the opinion that
children
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's
behaviour
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 should not be controlled by any means and let them behave what they want. Every child has its own manners and behaviours which are associated with their skills. Controlling them will eventually devastate their natural abilities and skills and
consequently
Linking Words
,
this
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 will have a bad impact on their personality.
For instance
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, Childagge researched the
behaviour
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 of
children
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, and according to their results, 40% of
children
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 abilities were badly affected in a controlled environment. To conclude, I would like to reinstate that young one conduct should be closely controlled by the parents and
this
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 will help
children
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 in adopting good manners and get rid of bad habits.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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