IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?

#people #colleges #universities #experiences #career #preparation
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In a society where the career structure has been changed, it is common to see
people
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 studying until at least the undergraduate level to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the prevalent job requirement. Different career needs different fields of
knowledge
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.
However
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, in order to make every student able to attend
university
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 or college, the
universities
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 and colleges have been over- established, and the quality of teaching is getting worse.
Therefore
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, the government should limit the
quantity
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number
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 of
universities
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 and colleges. In many countries,
students
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 learn the basic
knowledge
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 until high school
;,
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;
,
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 when they
enroll
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enrol
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into
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in
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 higher educational institutions, they can acquire
further
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 specific fields of professional
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 to prepare for their career. In Taiwan, before we attend a
university
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, we have to take an exam which tests us on all basic
knowledge
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,
such
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 as literature, mathematics, English, social sciences and natural sciences. We choose
universities
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 according to are chosen from
universities
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 by our exam results.
However
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, not everyone is good in all kind of
knowledge
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, and everyone has their own talent. So it can be seen that many
students
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 are
unnot
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in not
 able to enrol the major of the
university
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whichin
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which
 what they want to
study
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, just because they fail in some
subjectse
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subjects
 some subjects fail. It is common to see
students
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 studying a major or attend a
university
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 in which they are not really interested in. Following the worldwide development,
white collar
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white-collar
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 workers are more than
blue collar
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blue-collar
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 workers, so
people
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 need higher educational degrees in order to gain
a better jobs
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a better job
better jobs
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.
However
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, it
also
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 can be seen that many
students
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 work for the job which is different from what they learn
,
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apply
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 because it is still believed that
people
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 can get the better social status via owning an undergraduate degree or even a postgraduate degree. Studying in
universities
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 and colleges is not because they really want to
study
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further
Linking Words
 specific knowledgeThey
study
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 not because they want to, but
becauseonly
Correct your spelling
because only
 they need at least an undergraduate degrees to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 the basic requirement to find a job.
Therefore
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, the government must take actions to help these young
people
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 who are confused about why they must
study
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 until
university
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 and make
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 better education system to improve
this
Linking Words
 circumstance. The future of the countries relies on these young
people
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. If they only attend
universities
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 because, just it is the norm in
the
Remove the article
apply
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society, but without other reasons, everyone will be just like a robot to work for a living.
Therefore
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, the government should put more effort
on
Verify preposition usage
into
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 education to inspire young
people
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’s talent and lead them
to
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 the right direction of life.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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