People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?

In a society where the career structure has been changed, it is common to see
people
studying until at least the undergraduate level to
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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fulfill
the prevalent job requirement. Different career needs different fields of
knowledge
.
However
, in order to make every student able to attend
university
or college, the
universities
and colleges have been over- established, and the quality of teaching is getting worse.
Therefore
, the government should limit the
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the quantity does not fit with the countable noun universities. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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quantity
of
universities
and colleges. In many countries,
students
learn the basic
knowledge
until high school
Change the punctuation
;
,

The punctuation in ;, is incorrect. Consider changing the punctuation.

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;,
when they
Change the spelling
enrol

The spelling of enroll is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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enroll
Verify preposition usage
in

It appears that the preposition into may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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into
higher educational institutions, they can acquire
further
specific fields of professional
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge

It appears that knowledges is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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knowledges
to prepare for their career. In Taiwan, before we attend a
university
, we have to take an exam which tests us on all basic
knowledge
,
such
as literature, mathematics, English, social sciences and natural sciences. We choose
universities
according to are chosen from
universities
by our exam results.
However
, not everyone is good in all kind of
knowledge
, and everyone has their own talent. So it can be seen that many
students
are
Correct your spelling
in not

The word unnot is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

unnot
able to enrol the major of the
university
Correct your spelling
which

The word whichin is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

whichin
what they want to
study
, just because they fail in some
Correct your spelling
subjects

The word subjectse is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

subjectse
some subjects fail. It is common to see
students
studying a major or attend a
university
in which they are not really interested in. Following the worldwide development,
Add a hyphen
white-collar

It appears that white collar is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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white collar
workers are more than
Add a hyphen
blue-collar

It appears that blue collar is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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blue collar
workers, so
people
need higher educational degrees in order to gain
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better job
better jobs

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun jobs in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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a better jobs
.
However
, it
also
can be seen that many
students
work for the job which is different from what they learn
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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,
because it is still believed that
people
can get the better social status via owning an undergraduate degree or even a postgraduate degree. Studying in
universities
and colleges is not because they really want to
study
further
specific knowledgeThey
study
not because they want to, but
Correct your spelling
because only

The word becauseonly is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

becauseonly
they need at least an undergraduate degrees to
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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fulfill
the basic requirement to find a job.
Therefore
, the government must take actions to help these young
people
who are confused about why they must
study
until
university
and make
Change the article
a

It appears that the article the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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the
better education system to improve
this
circumstance. The future of the countries relies on these young
people
. If they only attend
universities
because, just it is the norm in
Remove the article
apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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the
society, but without other reasons, everyone will be just like a robot to work for a living.
Therefore
, the government should put more effort
Verify preposition usage
into

It appears that the preposition on may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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on
education to inspire young
people
’s talent and lead them
Verify preposition usage
in

It appears that the preposition to may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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to
the right direction of life.
Submitted by Christy's Kitchen on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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