IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The lack of physical activity nowadays the main issue of most
people
Use synonyms
 living in cities.
This
Linking Words
 is mostly because of bad
time
Use synonyms
-management and sedentary lifestyle.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
people
Use synonyms
 who badly manage their daily schedule do not have
time
Use synonyms
 on sports activities. In the modern world,
time
Use synonyms
 is the most expensive resource for individuals who live in cities due to a high busyness at work and in the family,
therefore
Linking Words
, it is vital to organise daily schedule; by doing
this
Linking Words
, individuals would have more
time
Use synonyms
 for their physical activities,
otherwise
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
there is a lack of them.
For example
Linking Words
, citizens who plan their day usually have in their schedule going to the gym,
however
Linking Words
, those who live without the clear organisation of their daily plans simply suffering from any sports activities. Another remedy is that many
people
Use synonyms
 have an inactive lifestyle. It is common knowledge that in the cities one of the main advantage citizens have is a fast Internet which allows them to play online games. Unfortunately, for some gaming becomes part of their life,
hence
Linking Words
, those individuals stay indoors and play for days. To illustrate, a lot of metropolis in China face the problem of
people
Use synonyms
 who spend their life sitting at home and playing network games, while in the countryside, where the connection is quite poor,
people
Use synonyms
 exercise on a daily basis. In conclusion, nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 who live in urban areas meet a scarcity of sports exercise. The reasons for
this
Linking Words
 are that those who organise their
time
Use synonyms
 inappropriately and stay at home.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: