Modern children are suffering from those problems which were once considered to be meant for the adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and remedies.

#children #adults #obesity #disease #remedies

Globalisation has brought several diseases in youth along with its positive impact and due to that, the youth is nowadays suffering from the ailments which were once considered to be found in elder’s only. Obesity is

one

such

most prevalent among children along with others. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss how these are caused and, what all remedial steps can be taken to improve

this

. on the

one

hand, the introduction of junk food in

this

modernised world is the major cause behind all these big problems being faced by the youth, And, it is not only limited to result in

one

disease,

instead

, it

also

comes with multiple disorders.

For example

, spicy, unhygienic, greasy and fried food items not only bring obesity to

one

’s body but,

also

makes a human feel fatigued all the time, which results in laziness

also

Therefore

, to overcome all these bad impacts of unhealthy food and lifestyle

one

must exercise and consumes good items.

On the other hand

, numerous remedial steps can be taken to solve

this

problem.

Firstly

, an individual need to make a proper diet plan for his whole day along with that

one

must always put only short intervals in between the meals when planning the diet.

Secondly

, an individual should always workout for at least 40 minutes a day to save himself fro the upcoming diseases.

Moreover

, he must go through a full-body checkup twice a year, so that to be aware of hidden ailments if any.

As a result

, if a person doing everything above mentioned performs an act which might bring some bad impact to his body, later on, will not result to be harmful in comparison to others who follow an unhealthy lifestyle. To conclude, I would say that it is not only the outer world which makes a man unfit

instead

it is the home environment of an individual which makes him follow a healthy and disciplined lifestyle and,

thus

results in happy, healthy and energetic person.

Submitted by ramanjit kaur on Sun Jan 17 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

333 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern children are suffering from those problems which were once considered to be meant for the adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and remedies.

Fully explain your ideas

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? * Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.

Nowadays parents are sending their children to trips abroad for educational purpose. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the problems of playing computer games and what can you suggest to minimize the bad effects?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living a number of different places during your childhood years?

In some countries an increasing number of people suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?