It is suggested that all the young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?

#adults #period #work #people #community

It is said that youngsters should participate in any volunteer

work

just to help other

people

who are in need of it.To my mind

Add a comma

show examples

this

unpaid

work

has more pros than cons and I will provide appropriate arguments for

this

work

People

who are involved in volunteer

work

are so valuable and worthwhile in the world.

Firstly

, these

people

are striving to assist other

people

every day who can’t do it due to some life circumstances. Many international companies value

people

with

this

type of

work

without extra charge. If

people

gain

this

experience, they will have more benefits and perks in their long run.

Secondly

people

can get useful knowledge and

Change the article

the

show examples

irst experience in

this

area, where they

work

and eventually that will understand better

this

business and weigh up pros and cons according to climbing on the career ladder in

this

type of business.

For instance

, in 2020 about 47% of Ukrainian young

people

have started their career from scratch in IT companies without any experience and immersed themselves in the duties of

this

position, and understood all approaches and principles of

this

type of job. The major drawback of

this

unpaid activity is that

people

don’t receive

Remove the article

apply

show examples

remuneration within a long period of time.They can be demoralized and upset about it.

Besides

, they may suffer

some time

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

because they need to take their head above the water. They can’t splurge on many things

that is

why before

taking

Correct your spelling

making

show examples

an offer to

this

proposal

people

need to accumulate some money for their living.

For example

, a plethora of Ukrainian

people

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to end up their unpaid job after one month because they rely on getting their salary in the

second

month. In conclusion, as we can see

this

issue has more upsides than downsides by cause of it can take several months to do

this

work

. I reckon it will be beneficial for

people

's prospects in their future life. (320 words)

Submitted by mila.kniaz on Sun Jan 17 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

skill development
soft skills
teamwork
communication
leadership
social responsibility
community engagement
empathy
civic duty
networking opportunities
volunteering
personal growth
confidence
financial compensation
economic drawbacks
exploitation
free labor
fair exchange

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It is suggested that all the young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think that it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, many people rely on traditional medicines. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?