Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
The prevalence of high
sugar
content in various manufactured drinks and products
has raised concerns about its major impact on public health
. Some propose that increasing the prices
of sugary products
could encourage people
to consume less sugar
. However
, I disagree with this
approach, as it may not effectively reduce their consumption
.
To begin
with, the addictive nature of sugar
content makes it challenging for people
to cut down on their consumption
nearly based on higher prices
. It is difficult to resist the urge and craving when people
are accustomed to consuming sugar
. Consequently
, they may be willing to pay more to satisfy their sugar
cravings even if it means cutting back on other essential expenses. Thus
, a price increase may not be a strong deterrent for those already reliant on sugary products
.
Secondly
, increasing the price of sugary products
may affect low-income people
. As prices
rise, those with limited financial resources might struggle to afford healthier alternatives or maintain their current dietary habits. This
can lead to a situation, where people
from disadvantaged backgrounds are more likely to continue consuming sugary products
, despite the price increases, exacerbating existing health
problems.
I believe a more effective solution to this
issue is raising public awareness and educating them about the health
risks associated with high sugar
intake. By empowering them with knowledge, they can make informed choices about their dietary habits and gradually reduce their sugar
consumption
.
In conclusion, increasing the prices
of sugary products
to address the health
concerns related to sugar
consumption
may not be the most suitable approach. The addictive nature of sugar
and its impact on low-income households could limit the effectiveness of such
a measure. Instead
, focusing on education and awareness can help people
make healthier choices and improve public outcomes.Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and develops an argument against the proposed measure. To improve task response, ensure your essay more directly addresses the prompt by providing specific examples or data to support your arguments. This could include statistics on sugar addiction, economic studies on how price increases affect consumption, or real-life examples of successful public health campaigns.
coherence cohesion
Your essay benefits from a logical structure and clear progression of ideas, which aids in its coherence. To enhance cohesion, consider the use of more varied linking devices and transitional phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring a balanced approach by briefly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint before presenting your rebuttal can further strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.