IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

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It is true that parents need some knowledge and experience in order to raise their kids in an appropriate way. In
this
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 regard, many families attend different training
courses
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.
While
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 I agree that these
courses
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 might be useful for some of them, I totally disagree with the recommended obligatory pattern of
such
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 training. On the one hand, training
courses
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 usually offered by governments could be very useful for those guardians who have a kid with special needs.
For example
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, if a child has a birth defect or has been diagnosed with any mental or musculoskeletal disorders, these kinds of training could be lifesaving.
Additionally
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, as we know, the first few months after birth are really a crucial period of a child’s life; parents should obtain different information related to their child’s vaccinations, common health problems, different developmental issues and so on, which can be delivered through
such
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 training
courses
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe that making these programs
as
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apply
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a mandatory option would cause several problems for societies and individuals as well.
To begin
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 with, in order to achieve
this
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 goal, many professionals should be trained which may not be affordable for some governments. From an individual’s point of view,
this
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 kind of mandatory
programs
Fix the agreement mistake
program
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 could be very time-consuming for some families who have other kids at home or who work long hours. The other important consideration is that parent training
courses
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 may not provide all the necessary information for each and every family. To be more specific, parents could get more beneficial information through different websites
such
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 as YouTube
according to
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 their own preferences. In conclusion,
although
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 I believe that many families can take advantage
from
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of
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 training
courses
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, I do believe that making them
as
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apply
show examples
a compulsory option for everyone is too time and money-consuming for individuals and governments.

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to directly address the prompt by clearly stating your opinion on whether childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Explicitly state your position at the beginning of the essay and develop your arguments accordingly.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect your points and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Additionally, ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively introduce and summarize your main arguments, respectively.
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