IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

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With an ever-increasing concern about modern education, some people have opined that the role of
teachers
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 has become depreciated
due to
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 other sources of
information
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.
This
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 essay will,
however
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, provide some reasons why I strongly disagree with the given opinion.
To begin
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 with, some individuals argue that
students
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 no longer need
teachers
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 as a main source of
information
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. If
students
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 adopt the new technology as a learning method, AI programs and online search engines provide enormous amounts of
information
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 and content for self-learning.
Moreover
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,
students
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 can access
information
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 without restriction in time and place, which makes them feel less necessary for
teachers
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 to provide
information
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.
Furthermore
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, compared to home-schooling
students
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, other
students
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 who attend school have shown no dramatic difference in academic achievements.
Therefore
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,
teachers
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 play a very minimal role when
students
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 have a variety of sources of
information
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. In spite of the reasons that I mentioned above, I completely contend that
teachers
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 play a critical role in student's journey of academic learning. Providing few agreements on previous arguments, moving to educators from educational institutions can illuminate a different perspective. The priority of them is to evaluate student's work based on certain criteria but many
students
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 are not providing well-written assignments or essays
due to
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 flawed
information
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 and knowledge gathered from the internet. If
students
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 solely rely on their knowledge based on defective
information
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 and continue to not recognise the problem, will lead them to fail in their academic success.
Moreover
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, the experience-based lessons with proper knowledge and
information
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 only can be taught by
teachers
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.
Therefore
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,
teachers
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 are important to navigate and support
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
 process of
students
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.
Thus
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, making decisions about whether to discuss the importance of
teachers
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 should not be based on the sole representative side of
students
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. In conclusion, some individuals think that having various sources of
information
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 allows
students
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 to think
teachers
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 are not important.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that more considerations of other parties' facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help reinforce your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each idea transitions smoothly to the next to enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Review the introduction to ensure it clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This can help set better expectations for the reader.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt directly and provided a clear stance on the issue. This demonstrates strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have used a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas, which helps in maintaining a good flow in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, which is very good for the essay's structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Facilitators of learning
  • Personalized learning
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Practical application
  • Interactive learning environments
  • Group discussions
  • Teamwork
  • Social interaction
  • Soft skills
  • Evaluation
  • Feedback
  • Emotional support
  • Social development
  • Self-study
  • Adapt teaching methods
  • Educational guidance
  • Teacher-student interaction
  • Knowledgeable feedback
  • Student confidence
What to do next:
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