IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same product anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #product #world #development
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the
world
. Is it a positive or negative
development
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 It is true that the
world
 is becoming a global village through an enormous
development
 in technology. People are able to get their desired items in every part of the
world
 quickly and without any barriers, which I intend to be a positive step towards global advancement.
First
 of all, the
world
 has become a global village.
In other words
, people can get whatever, and wherever they want.
For instance
,
last
 year, one of my Chinese friends, he visited me and expressed his desire to eat “Sochiani”, which is a special and traditional Chinese cuisine. By a single search through the internet on my mobile, I got to know the specialized available restaurant for that food in my city, which I ordered for the dinner and make him propitiated.
This
 clearly shows that due to
such
 a globalized
world
 everything is possible and accessible. Equally importantly, though,
this
development
 has broadened our horizon and has a very positive impact on our society. To illustrate
this
, if we look at the example of an iPhone, which is made by America, assembled in China, and available all over the
world
. The technical staff for the repair and maintenance is available in every country, and the majority of them are local dwellers of their countries. Apart from the reduction in unemployment, it is contributing to strengthening the economy of these states. By way of conclusion, it is an indisputable fact that globalization has revolutionized the whole
world
, and I am of the opinion that the advantages of
such
development
 outweigh its pitfalls. I hope that
such
development
 should be continued in other to make the globe a better place for the human being.
Submitted by rmnbatth63 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: