Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Music and art form an integral part of societies all across the world. In my opinion, even with technology leading nowadays, art and music play a vital role in one’s life.
However
, having students focus on it more at schools would do more harm than good.
Although
technology dominates the world today, craft and melody allow individuals to connect with their creative sides. It allows them to tap into the imaginative part of their brain, which is not really the case with technology.
This
is important from the perspective of overall growth.
Furthermore
, for many people, it acts as a way of expressing themselves which helps them heal on an emotional level.
In other words
, it is often observed that artists usually portray their thoughts via the stroke of a brush or musicians express their grievances through songs. Regardless of how beneficial craft and melody can be to a person, as a student, it is important to have a proper balance in the subjects pursued at schools. Concentrating solely on it cannot be useful, as in
such
a case, the child would miss out on other important parts of the curriculum.
For instance
, not understanding mathematical concepts would lead to a child being poor with numbers and calculations in future,
thus
, having them struggle at work or business. If the right balance is not maintained, the pupil would not be able to make the most of what the education system has to offer. To sum it up, art and music will always be an integral part of the society due to the things it has to offer, but at the same time, it is essential that a right balance of subjects is adhered to at schools.
Submitted by monisheg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • therapeutic
  • cultural awareness
  • globalized world
  • diverse cultures
  • technological advancements
  • interactive tools
  • accessible
  • engaging
  • STEM subjects
  • well-rounded individuals
  • innovative
  • problem-solvers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: