Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

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In recent times,
children
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are suffering pressure from their studies as they are struggle doing too much
home work
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homework
show examples
, social
platforms
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which they watch the fancy life of others, and commercial because many
advertisments
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advertisements
are targeting
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children
childrens
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children
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to buy
unneccasry
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unnecessary
thing.
However
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, These problems can be
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overcome
overcomed
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overcome
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by training teachers to concentrate more on creativity, social
platforms
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to be used under
parents
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observation and the government should prohibit
children
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ads. Many students are feeling stressed due to the
home work
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homework
show examples
they do.
This
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is because after they had arrived from school, they spent
r
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the
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est of the day to finish their homework, and as a consequence, they feel depressed.
In addition
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, social
platforms
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have approved that it has a great influence these days.
Thiese
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These
applications are full of influencers that are living a fancy life, and
thus
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, these teenagers
are see
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see
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them as
a role models
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a role model
role models
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and start to imitate them.
Finally
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, ads are being misused because many of ad makers try to convince
children
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to buy useless products.
Thus
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, they will ask
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
they
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the
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parents
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to buy them these products, and if the
parents
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had no money,
this
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would make
children
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streesed
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stressed
.
Nevertheless
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,
There
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there
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should be a
trainig
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training
coursed for teachers on how to focus on creativity
instead
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of making them robots. Finland,
for example
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, has the best educational system in the world. The reason is they
neglact
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neglect
homework and try to push students to be creative.
Besides
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, These
children
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are
unmature
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unmatured
, and if, they need to use these social
platforms
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, they will probably under their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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observation.
Lastly
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, governments have to prevent the
announcemnts
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announcements
announcement
targeting
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children
childrens
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children
show examples
, in order to protect them from stress.
Submitted by ayamfathy90 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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