Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In recent times,
children
are suffering pressure from their studies as they are struggle doing too much
home work
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homework
show examples
, social
platforms
which they watch the fancy life of others, and commercial because many
advertisments
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advertisements
are targeting
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children
childrens
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children
show examples
to buy
unneccasry
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unnecessary
thing.
However
, These problems can be
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overcome
overcomed
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overcome
show examples
by training teachers to concentrate more on creativity, social
platforms
to be used under
parents
observation and the government should prohibit
children
ads. Many students are feeling stressed due to the
home work
Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
they do.
This
is because after they had arrived from school, they spent
r
Add an article
the
show examples
est of the day to finish their homework, and as a consequence, they feel depressed.
In addition
, social
platforms
have approved that it has a great influence these days.
Thiese
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These
applications are full of influencers that are living a fancy life, and
thus
, these teenagers
are see
Change the verb form
see
show examples
them as
a role models
Correct the article-noun agreement
a role model
role models
show examples
and start to imitate them.
Finally
, ads are being misused because many of ad makers try to convince
children
to buy useless products.
Thus
, they will ask
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
parents
to buy them these products, and if the
parents
had no money,
this
would make
children
streesed
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stressed
.
Nevertheless
,
There
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there
show examples
should be a
trainig
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training
coursed for teachers on how to focus on creativity
instead
of making them robots. Finland,
for example
, has the best educational system in the world. The reason is they
neglact
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neglect
homework and try to push students to be creative.
Besides
, These
children
are
unmature
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unmatured
, and if, they need to use these social
platforms
, they will probably under their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
observation.
Lastly
, governments have to prevent the
announcemnts
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announcements
announcement
targeting
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children
childrens
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children
show examples
, in order to protect them from stress.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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