IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The news media have too much influence on peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that the
news
Use synonyms
 media, both digital
as well as
Linking Words
 print, influence the minds of the citizens, and
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 a negative trend.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the statement because politicians influence the public through biased media, and students are fed with gossip
news
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of the important daily
news
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some political parties misuse the
news
Use synonyms
 companies by hook or crook in their favour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these political outfits ask
such
Linking Words
 companies to telecast
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
information to the public
that is
Linking Words
 politically beneficial, and
also
Linking Words
 it works for the politicians indirectly during the campaign of the elections.
For example
Linking Words
, Fox
News
Use synonyms
, the leading national channel in the US, was
criticized
Change the spelling
criticised
show examples
 by all nations for supporting and favouring the US president Donald Trump during his nomination for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second term.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the public would not be aware of the other side.
Secondly
Linking Words
, for television rating
points
Punctuation problem
points,
show examples
news
Use synonyms
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 give importance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 crimes and
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
show examples
, depriving students
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 important
news
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may affect their general knowledge, as children preparing for competitive examinations are dependent on the
news
Use synonyms
 media for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current affairs.
For instance
Linking Words
,
recently
Punctuation problem
recently,
show examples
 almost all
news
Use synonyms
 channels in India ran the death of movie actor Sushant Singh for days, during which many people could have missed the vital
news
Use synonyms
 of the plane crash in Indonesia and
floods
Correct article usage
the floods
show examples
 in some parts of India.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I totally agree that some
news
Use synonyms
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 have negatively influenced the citizens,
due to
Linking Words
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 biased views and political pressures,
as well as
Linking Words
 the students waiting to improve their knowledge for clearing competitive exams.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, state a clear position in the introduction, acknowledge at least one counter-argument, and support claims with balanced reasoning and precise examples.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use clearer topic sentences, link ideas across paragraphs, avoid repeating phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea connected to your stance.
task response
Clear stance stated in intro.
coherence
Paragraphing and some connectives used.
content
Examples from real events are used to support points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • people
  • life
  • today
  • agree
  • disagree
  • extent
  • much
  • too
  • can
  • should
  • good
  • bad
  • help
  • harm
  • think
  • know
  • use
  • read
  • see
  • hear
  • true
  • false
  • fact
  • source
  • time
  • way
  • plan
  • care
  • share
  • learn
  • idea
  • change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: