Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

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It is said that the number of people walking daily has been decreasing gradually.

While

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there are numerous underlying reasons, its roots might lie in the popularity of modern means of transportation and sports.

However

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this

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issue can be tackled by organizing appealing activities. To start with, there are numerous reasons for the phenomenon. The first and foremost one is the rise of motor vehicles. Cars and motorbikes can be taken as prime examples. They have now been improved in terms of appearance, speed, and price;

hence

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, individuals are more likely to drive to work

instead

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of travelling on foot.

Second,

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because their living standard is improved, they are able to afford numerous sports

such

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as gym and yoga which are presumably far more interesting and more efficient to improve their health than taking a stroll. Ultimately, there is apparently little motivation whatsoever for anyone to prioritize walking. Notwithstanding

this

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, various interesting methods can be implemented to address the aforementioned problem. Specifically, holding a competition is bound to motivate society members to spend more time going on foot;

for instance

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, many companies reward their employees who have the biggest monthly number of footsteps.

In addition

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, the local government should provide new facilities which likely encourage the habit of jogging.

For example

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, they can decorate or build pedestrians where many amusing activities

such

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as street dance or singing take place.

Consequently

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, more and more citizens may go for a walk for either healthy or entertaining purposes. In conclusion, the decreased frequency of walking is mainly

due to

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the popularity of new travelling vehicles and interesting sporty activities.

Nevertheless

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, gamification and infrastructure refreshment will efficiently encourage individuals to go for a walk.

chungoc2001Thu Dec 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. There is some evidence of organizational pattern, but occasionally, the ideas could be more explicitly connected.

coherence cohesion

While you have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, consider rephrasing to avoid redundancy and enhance reader engagement.

coherence cohesion

Aim to support each main point with detailed and specific examples. General statements are present but could be enhanced with more particular details to better illustrate your arguments.

task achievement

It is commendable that the response addresses all parts of the task, yet strive to develop a deeper analysis of the reasons and solutions provided.

task achievement

The ideas are clear but at times lack comprehensive development. Expand on the ideas by elaborating more clearly on how they relate to the question.

task achievement

Specific examples are crucial in strengthening an argument; include more focused instances that directly relate to the reasons and solutions discussed.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

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Nowadays, there is a trend that reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. Dương,

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