IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #effects
Advertising is one of the important sources of growing any business.
Although
 advertise any product is necessary for its sale, these ads in today's time targeting
children
. I completely agree that it should be banned as it has many negative effects on the growing age of
children
.
Firstly
, it could be argued that advertisement can not be stopped from
children
 eyes. The growing age of
children
 brings about hundreds of questions in their minds which for some reason they do not ask for anyone but they learn through observations.
However
, it might be possible that something is not appropriate to learn for a child than it is for a teenager,
such
 as always, condemn
advertisements
. I believe that these types of learning can be done in school at their proper age.
Moreover
, it is not something broadcast on every channel and discusses openly.
Secondly
, commercials make our kids more demanding in front of their parents. Most
advertisements
 are attractive to adolescent, which means they ask their parents to buy it for them. Even worse, not every parent afford these types of gadget or fast food or biscuits to their kids.
In addition
, some times
children
 might get offended or feel ashamed that
this
 is something his parent can not afford.
Finally
,
although
 some ads may have fantasy content, many people,
therefore
, argue that advertisement is informative and knowledgeable. Most
advertisements
 that target
children
 on confectionary items are not real, but they show more fantasy.
As a result
, many youngsters become complex or they might start these confectionary items as their need and skip their actual meal. My strongest argument is that the actual meal helped kids to grow stronger not these advertising products. To sum up, not only do advertisement makes
children
 more demanding but it
also
 may convey wrong information to growing child.
Therefore
, I strongly feel that these
advertisements
 should be banned.
Submitted by sobia.nedian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: