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The best way to help under-achieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in schools and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

#pupils #school #activities #schools #grades
Nowadays it is believed by some people that to enhance
pupil's
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils'
show examples
 grades and to make them involved in the spirit of schools, it is needed to create mandatory activities that they must visit. In my opinion, it could be beneficial in some way,
however
, it is
also
 could badly affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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mental health. 
To begin
 with, various courses could be very reasonable if it is needed to improve students' attitude towards schools.
Firstly
, adolescents would have an opportunity to spend their free time on something useful and interesting for them.
Secondly
, when young people are engaged in
such
 activities,
for example
, sports games in educational institutions, they will find new friends and they will acquire the spirit of cohesion by supporting
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 team.
Thus
, it would be interesting for youngsters to attend extracurricular events because of new acquaintances. In
this
 way, they will be more involved in educational institutions.
On the other hand
, mandatory sections could exacerbate the situation. Some under-achieving students get bad marks as they get tired of a lot of hours of learning.
Therefore
, compulsory lessons could have a bad influence on academic performance. What is more, some children are not involved in schools because of a negative ambience. Peers can bully each other so teenagers do not want to stay at school for long. It would be more reasonable to create a friendly environment rather than to add more classes. In conclusion, I believe that a lot of steps should be
done
Verb problem
taken
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 to improve pupils'
attitude
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attitudes
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 and adding compulsory courses is not enough.
Submitted by alii.viisl on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • under-achieving
  • compulsory
  • after-school activities
  • grades
  • improve
  • support
  • resources
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • behavior
  • discipline
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • sense of community
  • belonging
  • drawbacks
  • limited freedom
  • pressure
  • flexible
  • study support programs
  • individualized tutoring
  • address
  • needs
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