The best way to help under-achieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in schools and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

#pupils #school #activities #schools #grades

Nowadays it is believed by some people that to enhance

pupil's

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils'

show examples

grades and to make them involved in the spirit of schools, it is needed to create mandatory activities that they must visit. In my opinion, it could be beneficial in some way,

however

, it is

also

could badly affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mental health.

To begin

with, various courses could be very reasonable if it is needed to improve students' attitude towards schools.

Firstly

, adolescents would have an opportunity to spend their free time on something useful and interesting for them.

Secondly

, when young people are engaged in

such

activities,

for example

, sports games in educational institutions, they will find new friends and they will acquire the spirit of cohesion by supporting

common

Correct article usage

a common

show examples

team.

Thus

, it would be interesting for youngsters to attend extracurricular events because of new acquaintances. In

this

way, they will be more involved in educational institutions.

On the other hand

, mandatory sections could exacerbate the situation. Some under-achieving students get bad marks as they get tired of a lot of hours of learning.

Therefore

, compulsory lessons could have a bad influence on academic performance. What is more, some children are not involved in schools because of a negative ambience. Peers can bully each other so teenagers do not want to stay at school for long. It would be more reasonable to create a friendly environment rather than to add more classes. In conclusion, I believe that a lot of steps should be

done

Verb problem

taken

show examples

to improve pupils'

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

and adding compulsory courses is not enough.

Submitted by alii.viisl on Tue Oct 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific main point and supports it with relevant details and examples.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and support your overall opinion.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and advanced words and phrases to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and revise your sentences to avoid errors and improve sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Download Free PDF
11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

under-achieving
compulsory
after-school activities
grades
improve
support
resources
motivation
engagement
behavior
discipline
life skills
teamwork
time management
organizational skills
sense of community
belonging
drawbacks
limited freedom
pressure
flexible
study support programs
individualized tutoring
address
needs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Today in many areas,individuals are living longer than before. Some people think that the old population creates problems for authorities,while others believe there are benefits if there are more elderly people in society. In my point of view, benefits can outweigh drawbacks in terms of decisions and experience,however,the potential drawbacks such as fundings for healthcare and the highest level of death.
6.5
band
Sample Question Version 05(Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.
Over the past few decades, we have witnessed a remarkable tendency among young adults to engage in paid or unpaid work. While some argue that this trend imposes undue pressure on youth, others view it creates a great opportunity to discover practical challenges they will face in their lives at some point. From my perspective, early work experiences offer invaluable chances to gain practical skills and develop a strong sense of responsibility.
4.5
band
You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter: ● tell them some feedback about the event ● explain what you particularly enjoyed ● give some suggestions for improvement.
I am writing to you to attend your party where located in Almalik. I am 17 years old and I student of Bukhara Maktabi. I have been learning here about the organisation of a party for two years.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [192]
Nowadays some people believe that the problem regarding the extinction of trees and animals is most distinguished, whereas others contradict that opinion and suggest that the main issues are global warming, air pollution and climate change. In my opinion, environmental problems are the most important.
5
band
It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?
Reintroduction of capital punishment would definitely deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime as criminals would be hesitant to commit crimes that would result in a death sentence.

The best way to help under-achieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in schools and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Sample Question Version 05(Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.

You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter: ● tell them some feedback about the event ● explain what you particularly enjoyed ● give some suggestions for improvement.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [192]

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?