IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In recent years, television has contributed most to changing the quality of life of ordinary people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 assert that the invention of the
television
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 is a game-changer in improving the living standard of the
people
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. I agree with
this
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 notion to a large extent and reasons to strengthen my viewpoint are put forth in subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, the prominent disadvantage of the
television
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 is that overuse of it can afflict the health of the
viewers
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. It is generally seen that many
people
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 remain seated in front of the
television
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 and does not bother to perform physical activities. Due to
this
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 addiction, it is more likely that they can suffer from many diseases
such
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 as obesity and cardiovascular diseases in the absence of any workout.
For instance
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, children, because of their immaturity, are often found watching cartoons after school hours, thereby skipping playing outside and
consequently
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 suffering from overweight.
On the other hand
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,
television
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 has enhanced the quality of life of the public in myriad ways.
First
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 and foremost, It is a primary source of news and information among the
people
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 of all the classes.
This
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 makes them more aware of the fundamental rights and government policies due to informatic programmes being telecast on it. To illustrate, many debates broadcast at the prime time which elaborates the pros and cons of various government schemes
such
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 as health facilities and so on assist general
people
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 to get the benefit of it. These programs on the
television
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 are conducive for the
people
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 especially middle and poor class. Yet another benefit of the
television
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 is that it is one of the leisure activities for the
viewers
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. As
television
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 offers a wide range of entertaining content
such
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 as movies and serials and so on, a large number of
viewers
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 use
television
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 to kill boredom and
thus
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, they feel happier by enjoying their free time. To exemplify, a survey conducted by the University of British Columbia in 2017, in Canada on the 1000
people
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, on the choice of entertainment options, revealed that 90% of them preferred TV as the main source.
This
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 clearly depicts that
television
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 has helped
people
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 to live happier by watching content for entertainment purpose To conclude, even though
television
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 impinges health of the
people
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 which can be surmounted by limiting watching time, I still believe
television
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 act as a boon for several
people
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 by providing vast information as well as entertaining
viewers
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • access
  • information
  • platform
  • entertainment
  • escapism
  • awareness
  • exposure
  • cultures
  • improved
  • education
  • learning opportunities
  • development
  • news
  • journalism
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