IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The number of advertisements for charities on television and the Internet seems to be increasing. What is causing this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer & include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#advertisements #charities #television #internet #development
In the present world, the usage of the Internet is universal, which is convenient and easy for transporting
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
information. Under
this
 circumstance, the little-known facts are widely spread,
such
 as charities. From my perspective, I believe
this
 is due to improvement in human’ s moral disciplines and it is a positive advancement. On the one hand, the main reason for
g
Add an article
the
show examples
rowth in
n
Change the article
a
the
show examples
umber of advertisements
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 charities
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 television and the Internet is that there is an increase in
people
’s sense of duty. As more
people
 are aware of not everyone
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
 the same life,
people
 who concern social responsibilities tend to help the
people
 with lower income, but one’s power is limited, so the emergence of that kind of advertisement is avoidable for the purpose of increasing more
people
’s consciousness and gathering their power to give hand to the vulnerable groups.
On the other hand
, I personally reckon
this
 situation is a positive development because it can illustrate ideology is improving. In the ancient,
people
 were more likely to be selfish that could be
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
show examples
 by
a
Add an article
the
an
show examples
utocratic monarchy.
However
, the society that we live in right now is more democratic and harmonious, which means the vulnerable group will not be ignored and exploited.
People
 nowadays consider social obligation more than before, which is beneficial for the development of the human culture that will become more flourishing because everybody enjoys better living standards. In conclusion, I believe the rise in
a
Add an article
the
show examples
mount of public service announcements is mainly due to increasing mentality of social responsibility, and it is a rewarding improvement which benefits the whole development of all
people
 around the world.
Submitted by Esther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nonprofit organization
  • crowdfunding
  • philanthropy
  • altruism
  • donor fatigue
  • corporate social responsibility
  • social media influence
  • charitable giving
  • sponsorship
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • awareness campaign
  • digital marketing
  • emotional appeal
  • fundraising
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!