IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #gain #experiences #possessions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people like buying tangible assets like expensive mobile phones, cars, or other electronic items. No doubt, a few of these are necessities for someone, while for others, it’s a way of portraying their status to the outside world. I would argue that
such
Linking Words
 possessions might not have any long term impact.
However
Linking Words
, getting experience with the extra
money
Use synonyms
 is always better for the individual to grow. It’s always better to invest extra
money
Use synonyms
 in new
experiences
Use synonyms
 rather than investing in a tangible asset, as
experiences
Use synonyms
 would be the ones we would be able to cherish whenever we remember them.
For example
Linking Words
, buying an expensive car or using the same funds to sponsor a trip to Vancouver. The trip would be more valuable in the long run as we would remember it for our lifetime.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a car depreciates its value every year, and after some point, it will stop working. For many of us,
experiences
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 help us grow as an individual and get more exposure. During the summer holidays, we can stay at home, going out to movies and parties.
However
Linking Words
, if I plan a trip to the Netherlands, I would be putting myself out of my comfort zone where there is a language barrier. I will get an idea of surviving under
such
Linking Words
 circumstances, which will eventually help me broaden my perspective of different cultural values across the world.
Although
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 saved is
money
Use synonyms
 earned. It’s not wise to have experienced while taking loans or borrowing for your marriage and going beyond your planned spending. Any extra
money
Use synonyms
 is always better putting in
experiences
Use synonyms
 which eventually would make us grow in the long run.
Submitted by Shubham Trivedi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: