Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, technology is taking a toll on everyone and we are becoming dependent on technology. Some
people
believe that by welcoming a variety of automation, the bridge between rich and poor people
is becoming wider. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the coin.
In recent aeons, there has been enhancement of machinery which has led to an increment in employment opportunities. What I mean by this
is that poor people
are able to learn a varied range of skills because of their access to technology and apply for jobs in big companies. There has been a handsome increase in content creators, people
are able to share their talent on social media leading to recognition all over the globe. A prime example is Tripti Tyagi, she is a fashion designer who became famous for creating low-budget replica outfits and got invited to the Met Gala. She stitched her own dress for the Met and now she is a part of the Bollywood industry. In addition
to this
, the advancement of tech has also
helped to provide access to education in every sector. There are so many free courses where rich and poor study together through Zoom classes enriching bonds, communication and connectivity.
On the other hand
, when the poor content creators post their reels on Instagram they get trolled and made fun of by the rich class
. This
makes the gap wider and also
demotivates the new emerging talents. Buying capacity also
plays a crucial role in this
. Rich children
are able to afford the latest phones and laptops, creating a sense of class
. On the other side, the poor do not care about the latest model, they purchase second-hand or outdated phones that match their budget. For instance
, the government of India promoted free education for slum children
. The children
were able to sit in the same class
as the rich but were bullied. The major reason was that poor children
were judged on the basis of the outdated laptops and phones they had.
In a nutshell, invention and innovation of machinery has its pros and cons. It does play an important role in filling the road between rich and poor by levelling up work opportunities, recognition all over the world, and access to education. But, it also
creates a gap by developing a sense of class
and, increase
an increase in the number of bullying cases.Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Work on enhancing the articulation of your ideas. While the essay discusses both sides, there are areas where argumentation can be structured more clearly to avoid ambiguity.
Logical Structure
To improve the logical flow of your writing, consider using more transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph smoothly leads to the next. This will help in creating a cohesive narrative.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Ensure that all your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making. Sometimes the connection between your example and argument may seem tangential. Fine-tuning this will strengthen your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which reinforces the main points clearly.
Relevant and Specific Examples
The use of specific examples, such as Tripti Tyagi, adds credibility and depth to your argument.
Complete Response
The overall response addresses the task requirements effectively, providing a balanced discussion of both views.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite