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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items. What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

#people #brands #clothes #cars #items #trend #development
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In contemporary society, branded items are being purchased by more people. The writer of
this
 essay argues that the core reason behind
this
 statement is that humans are afraid of being left behind
as well as
 wanting to show off their richness;
therefore
,
this
 is a negative development as it can cause overbuying. It is undeniable how many large companies are exploiting the diversity of products to persuade customers to buy them.
In other words
, humans have the tendency to buy things that are new and aesthetic;
therefore
, some businesses are taking advantage of
this
 to create unqualified products and overadvertise those to attract customers.
Consequently
, because of the fear of leaving behind in society, individuals tend to buy the products without carefully checking the quality. Take the Apple company as a prime example whose iPhone model has not changed a lot for the past decade but still sold over 230 million phones in 2023. Another reason why people are buying brand items is because they want to indicate their wealth. To simplify, as society is developing, the wealth gap is becoming wider so one will want to show that they belong to the affluent group of the world.
As a result
, buying expensive things and promoting extravagant lifestyles are ways to do that.
However
, it is the opinion of the writer that
this
 is a negative development
due to
 the possibility of overbuying.
Further
 explaining, the goods may have bad quality and fall into disuse after being purchased which can lead to excessively repurchasing new ones in order to replace those that had been abandoned.
Subsequently
, the discarded items can not properly dispose of and remain wasted which a atrocious to the environment. In conclusion, because of fear and arrogance, people buy expensive things.
Thus
,
this
 is a negatively developed statement.
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task response
While the essay addresses the given topic comprehensively, there is room for improvement in terms of expanding the ideas and providing more depth to the arguments. Try to elaborate on your points more thoroughly to achieve a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points in each paragraph are logically developed and well-supported. This will help to make your arguments more persuasive and cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task response
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to the Apple company, helps to support the main points and makes the arguments more tangible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social Status
  • Proliferation
  • Globalization
  • Targeted Advertising
  • Perceived Value
  • Desirability
  • Reliability
  • Peer Pressure
  • Consumer Satisfaction
  • Innovation
  • Competition
  • Excessive Consumerism
  • Social Classes
  • Detract
  • Appreciation
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