IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some governments spend a lot of public money training up individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit
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Sports
Use synonyms
 are an integral part of human life. Authorities train
sports
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 players using
p
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a
the
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ublic budget and spend a lot on
sports
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 events. Some individuals argue that
Use synonyms
g
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the
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overnment should think about public and should spend
money
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for
Verify preposition usage
on
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people
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's benefits. I agree with the public view to
f
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the
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ull extent and will discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
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,
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G
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the
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overnment should think about the whole nation and should use the budget on some important factors
such
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 as
e
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the
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ducation of poor
people
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. These days there are many individuals who are under the poverty line and they cannot afford
for
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apply
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their education.
This
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 tendency can lead to a negative impact
for
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on
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 society. Illiteracy rate can be increased which can
affects
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affect
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w
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the
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hole economy in a negative way. To Illustrate,
people
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 pay a lot of taxes every year, so it is public
money
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,
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g
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the
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overnment should return it to
people
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 to benefit them
such
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 as paying school fee of poor children.
Secondly
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, authorities should use public
money
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 to build a library in
the
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apply
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public places. It can help
people
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 in two ways
such
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 as many
people
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 can find jobs in
l
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the
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ibrary, related to computer or guiding
people
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 and
also
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 it is a good achievement for
people
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 who can get access to different books which they may need for their leisure time or for their study or career.
Moreover
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, building factories and other businesses will help
people
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 to find jobs.
Government
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 spend
money
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 to train
sports
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 players, help them win
sports
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 events which is very good for the nation's fame.
For example
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 Olympic games, authorities pay huge to train them so that players can
enchanted
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enchant
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 country's status by winning.
Moreover
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,
government
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 pay millions of dollars only for entertainment purposes. Winning gold medals does not help
c
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the
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ountry's development. In conclusion,
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g
Add an article
the
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overnment should
first
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 think about the whole nation and should fulfil public needs
instead
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 of spending a lot on
sports
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. It is great to pay on
sports
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 but public issues should not be undervalued because the development is based on the whole population of a country, not only based on
sports
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 and games.
Submitted by Kanwal on

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