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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become criminal or not by examining the child at an age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals?

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Over the
last
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 few decades, scientists have improved their knowledge about the human body and connected with its psychology. In fact, the latest research has shown that children’s future, especially native gifts, can be determined. I disagree with the statement that crime is a product of human nature since it may have been caused by society.
Nevertheless
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, it is my firm
believe
Replace the word
belief
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 that criminal activities can be stopped if parents and government will focus on youngsters’ actions.
Firstly
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, the main reason for the involvement
young
Change preposition
of young
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 people in crime is the destructive social condition in the family or commune.
Likewise
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, if young minds observe cruelty, they will act in the same way as was learned. A good illustration
for
Change preposition
of
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this
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 is violation areas where children can receive skills
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to offend.
In addition
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, video games and
televisions
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television
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 programs may consist
Change preposition
of violence
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violence
Replace the word
violent
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 and harmful behaviour
young
Change preposition
in young
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 people
consume
Verb problem
apply
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. Eventually, society can put
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation in the step of violence and ill-treatment.
Secondly
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, in order to combat the issue, the government should
carry
Verb problem
care
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 about youngsters
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are in a difficult life situation.
Furthermore
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, offence can be prevented if the public
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 nurturing children in good environments right from their infant stages.
For example
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, social programs should be founded to protect
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation from the
adult’s
Change noun form
adults’
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 negative influence, show other living standards
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 provide them transmissions useful values.
Moreover
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, parents should keep an eye on children’s behaviour and shape them into better
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 after fixed intervals. In conclusion, social violence and criminal activities are the reasons why young people begin to offend.
Nevertheless
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, that can be solved via the parent’s control and government aid.

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Structure and Development
Follow the provided essay structure to create logical and coherent arguments. Pay attention to the clarity of your introduction and conclusion. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • criminology
  • human nature
  • socio-economic conditions
  • upbringing
  • early intervention
  • guidance
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • supportive environment
  • nurturing environment
  • positive role models
  • mentors
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • criminal behavior
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